John Malmo

Just because somebody tells you that a certain business category is a dying business doesn’t mean it’s gonna die today or tomorrow. People were still making money on Blockbuster stores a decade after the announcement of their demise.

Business categories do, indeed, die. Almost always because of advances in science. Nobody’s making steamships any more.

But some categories that start shrinking aren’t necessarily dying. They’re just getting smaller.

It’s gotten quite popular in the last few years to select dirty names for start-up businesses. There’s Dirty Dick’s Crab House, Fat Bastard Burrito, but none tops the new burger joint in Chattanooga.

Its name is Sofa - King - Juicy - Burger. If you say the name real fast, it only takes a couple times to figure out the intent of the owner. Despite, that is, the fact that he says there’s a large sofa in the joint.

Nothing is more important in any business than its brand. And branding is very serious business. But what’s even harder than branding, is RE-branding.

Building a brand from scratch is very hard. Not for quitters. But at least you’re trying to reach open minds. As in, Now there’s a place to buy tacos, and it’s called Taco Bell. But if you add hamburgers and re-brand as, say, Taco & Burger Bell, people probably will never quit saying Taco Bell.

Little boys growing up in the ‘Thirties were taught not to start something that they couldn’t finish. Initially, that meant don’t punch somebody bigger than you in the nose.

It’s a wonderful warning to keep in your head throughout your career. Because a starter who can’t finish loses credibility. Socially. Athletically. In government and business.

Great ideas that don’t materialize have little value. From track to golf, and in every business career, it’s not how you start. It’s how you finish. 

There are few devices better than an icon, or mascot, to help build personality and awareness for a brand.   And creating a successful icon is not a terribly difficult process.   But Burger King managed to screw it up.

As for personal tastes, I have always thought a Burger King hamburger was the best-tasting among fast-foot burgers. But the weird-looking, and weirder-acting, speechless, and spooky king that’s driven Burger King advertising for years is a dud.

Thankfully, new Burger King owners think so, too, because he’s being dethroned.